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 Question: I have married a man who has grown so angry over the years. If I leave him, isn't that judging him? Aren't we supposed to be working on unconditional love for everyone?
Answer: This is a perplexing question, yet so important. Let's start with discovering your own internal definition of Love. Be sure that loving another person does not include you giving your power to them, or setting yourself up as their victim. Loving another person does not include disrespecting your own intuitions and happiness.
Loving others in human form is a separate issue than loving them as God loves us. Spiritual Love is a recognition that we are all pieces of God. However, if the other person is having a human experience and forgets or doesn't even realize that he is a piece of God/Spirit then he will behave according to what he believes about himself. It is our job, as spirits living in human bodies wanting to understand this concept, to love ourselves first. Because when we love ourselves first, we are loving God/Source first. Loving ourselves includes staying aware that we are in human form and will act like humans which means we can hurt each other while we are having those moments in which we forget we are God/Spirit.
Loving someone who hurts you is a choice you can make, it is your free will. Staying with someone who hurts you is also your choice, your free will. When you make choices that are true to you, then you not only create strength in you, but give space for others to find their own strength. If you choose to stay with a person who hurts you, and you allow that person to continue to hurt you, not only are you disrespecting yourself, you are sending a message to the other person that how they are treating you is fine. You are "enabling" their behavior toward you and probably others to continue in ways that aren't working for him or those around him.
Imagine what would happen if we all could be true to ourselves. We wouldn't need laws or war to keep peace. You would simply do and be what you need to do or be to create a happy life for yourself. So would this other person. He would discover that his behavior isn't actually loving, because people don't stay around him. He would have to figure out how to be a nicer person to be around, so others would want to be around him, because being around him was a natural way for them to be true to themselves.
Stay focused on your own journey. That's the short answer. Let go of trying to help others learn how to be better. Let go of them and get focused on you and what you can actually do something about. You cannot make anyone else an inviting person to be around. However, you can make you the kind of person you want to be for your own happiness.
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